Alimony can be tricky. Making payments to an ex isn’t fun. Receiving them may not be, either. People don’t want to stay connected, and alimony ensures that they are for as long as it is owed. Very quickly, for many people, it becomes more about the psychological impact than the financial one.

Experts warn those who are paying alimony not to be so proud that they won’t do it. The same goes for those who are supposed to be paid. Either way, pride can get in the way of a fair and logical split.

Those who pay often just feel that the alimony payments are unfair. They want to end the relationship, and they don’t want to support an ex. That doesn’t feel like the end, and they’ll fight against those payments even when they could easily afford it.

On the other side, even those getting the payments may feel too proud to take what they deserve — and, honestly, what they often need — because they want to be on their own. For instance, a stay-at-home parent may need alimony to keep the lights on while raising the kids, but he or she may not want it because it feels wrong.

The key is to think about alimony realistically and objectively. Understand what rights you have. Take a step back, clear your mind, forget doing anything for the sake of emotions or your own pride and really consider the situation. Think purely about the legal and financial picture. Don’t be so proud, on either side, that you give up your rights or other assets in the divorce.

Source: The Week, “8 financial tips for men getting a divorce,” Hayley Krischer, accessed Aug. 03, 2017