Families should have open conversations about estate planning. These conversations allow adult children to offer their parents any needed help, ensures that the parents’ wishes are honored, and can prevent unnecessary family conflicts.
But how can you initiate such a discussion with your own parents? If you’re struggling with this step, here are three tips to help you:
Pick an appropriate time
It’s important to schedule an appropriate time to discuss estate planning with your parents. Surprising them with the discussion at a birthday dinner or during a crisis can be unwise.
Consider informing your parents that you would like to talk to them about estate planning on a particular day, and give them time to respond. If you have siblings, involve them throughout this process. Once you agree on a date, inform everyone about the time and location, if family dynamics allow for everyone to be involved. There may be siblings who are estranged, or your parents may want to maintain their privacy about their affairs, so be sensitive to those issues.
Approach the discussion with empathy
When you meet with your parents, you should approach the conversation with empathy. Start by informing them about your intentions. For example, you are concerned about their well-being and legacy, you would like to ensure their wishes are honored, or you want to know if they need help. Your parents should feel supported.
Prepare the questions to ask
You should come to the meeting prepared with some questions to ask. For instance:
- What documents or plans do you already have in place?
- Are your estate planning documents up to date?
- Have you appointed key parties?
- Are you working with any professionals?
- Does anyone know where all of your documents, like Wills and life insurance policies, are located?
- Does anyone know where all of your keys, lock combinations, and passwords are stored?
- Do you need any help?
- Is there anything else you would like to discuss?
Ask open-ended questions, focusing on your parents’ desire for control and legacy.
Estate planning conversations are rarely handled in one sitting. The tips discussed above help you start the discussion from the right angle. You can also guide your parents to contact an attorney if they are not already working with an estate planning professional to offer legal assistance. Engaging a professional can go a long way towards making sure that plans are implemented, and can provide great peace of mind.